


Thorin Did What Now?

by QueenUndertheBloodyMountain



Series: His Just Desserts [4]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Dis is very unhappy that her boys are growing up, F/M, He just doesn't like to talk about it, He lived next to them for almost a quarter of his life, Of course Thorin speaks Elvish guys, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-11 16:49:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3331634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenUndertheBloodyMountain/pseuds/QueenUndertheBloodyMountain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dis is having a hard time accepting that her boys are growing into adult dwarrow and is on the warpath for Thorin's hide, can his dear wife keep him safe? And what is going to happen to that dimwitted elven guard, who can't keep his trap shut and has gone just a step too far. And for once, Thorin isn't really the one who's going to be in trouble (not really).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thorin Did What Now?

**Author's Note:**

> No beta, no ownership. I hope I didn't completely botch this you guys.

"I'm going to skin him alive!" She shouted at you, pacing furiously.

"What in Mahal's name did he _do_ though Dis?"

"He took them to Mirkwood that's what! He took them away from me!"

"Dis, I know you love them and you want to protect them from the world, but they aren't boys anymore. They're grown dwarrow now and they make their own decisions and plan their own lives. I know it must be agonizing for you to watch them go but you have to allow them their decisions."

"You don't know anything! You aren't a mother, how could you possibly know?!" she snapped, throwing your hands off of herself and glaring at you.

You sighed to yourself, not letting her harsh words affect you; after all, they were just simple things spoken by a distressed mother worried for her children. "You are right, I have not born any children yet and I fear I won't," you explained, "But I _do_ know my husband, and I know he would sooner die than allow either of his nephews to so much as split a hair in his defense. You must trust him and your sons; they are not so foolish or naive as you may have remembered them. Thorin will not allow any harm to come to either of them."

Your sister-in-law just harrumphed and stomped out of yours and Thorin's chambers, muttering about foolish sons and irresponsible brothers the whole way, leaving you exasperated and alone to continue with your book. Her faith may have been shaken by your husband’s previous misdeeds, but you still had confidence in the dwarf that you had married.

**~~~**

Two weeks had passed when you heard the bells ringing through the mountain, signaling the King and his arrival back to Erebor. You smiled politely to the council and excused yourself, eager to see your husband once more.

You walked as quickly as you could towards the throne room, trying to avoid drawing too much attention to yourself without outright running there. When you entered you were met with the distressing, but still comforting, sight of your fool of a husband with a black eye and a split lip, both his heirs dancing around him in nervousness. When Thorin caught sight of you he guiltily smiled at your raised eyebrow, clearly understanding your question of his current appearance.

"Hello âzyungel," he sighed, large hands splaying on your hips and pulling you close.

"Do I even want to know?"

"Uncle got into a bit of a…scuffle…with the elves," Fíli murmured, eyes flitting between his uncle and his brother.

"Over?"

When none of them chose to reply, you turned to your youngest nephew, easily making use of his shamed face and twittering movements, "Kíli?"

"One of the elven guards made a very vulgar comment about his archery skills," Thorin explained, "And his lack of a beard. Unfortunately for him my elvish is still impeccable, and I immediately knew what filth he had spat.

"The situation devolved from there I'm afraid."

"Ugh...males," you muttered, ruffling Kíli's hair affectionately before kissing your husbands wounds softly. "And by the way, I believe I have saved your hide from the warpath of your sister so far, if you tell her of your scuffle and explain the results of your poor face, I'm sure it will get you in her good graces once more." You smiled, Thorin's face paling ever so slightly; both of your nephews glanced nervously at each other once again.

"Amad's scary on the warpath..." Kíli whispered, self-consciously rubbing the spot on his head where she constantly slapped him for his foolishness.

"Tell me about it..." Fíli mumbled, rubbing his outer thigh and backside for the same reasons; you could only smile when your husband rubbed his head as well, clearly remembering every blow his sister had ever delivered to his thick, dwarven skull. Oh how you did love your boys, even if they _were_ daft sometimes.

Your attention was caught by a lock of hair slightly shorter than the rest of your husband’s thick mane, eyes narrowing in on the offending piece, “Thorin, _what_ happened to your hair?”

Thorin nervously looked at you, ready for your temper to appear, “The guard in Mirkwood…”, he didn’t even finish before your snarl cut him off though.

_“I will skin him alive.”_

**~FIN~**


End file.
